


Angel of Misfortune

by andrearitsu



Series: Love Substitutes [3]
Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-04-14 11:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrearitsu/pseuds/andrearitsu
Summary: Some time has passed since Yohane and You agreed to go out together, but Yohane is worried her feelings are growing more than she should allow them.





	Angel of Misfortune

I am going out with Watanabe You. We’re lovers, despite not being in love with each other. We bring each other comfort in our loneliness by being to each other what the other need. It made me happy and I believe You is glad with our strange relationship as well.

I was born unlucky. I’ve been living in misfortune since as far back as I can remember. My immune system is frail, I get injured a lot, I miss the bus at the most crucial times… I even lost my opportunity to confess my love to my childhood friend. Then she came into my life and for the first time it felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel.

So why am I now ruining everything we have?

Recently I’ve had a recurring dream. I meet You under a large cherry blossom tree in bloom and she tells me I’m late. I’ve asked her to meet me so that I can tell her something important. She smiles at me and asks what it is.

What follows is silence. My lips move, words come out, but I can’t hear them. Afterwards, You starts crying and stepping back from me before running off and I wake up. At first the dream would come irregularly and it’d be unclear who had asked who to meet by the tree. But it had slowly started filling in details and now it would occur each night.

I had started avoiding You at school since then, including pairing up with others during practice. While I’m sure it seemed like nothing to the other girls, I was certain You had noticed. We had been going out for almost two months now and after having grown closer and closer I had suddenly put up this wall between us.

I hate myself.

“Hey! Yoshiko-chan!”

I had been spending some time contemplating my thoughts up in my favourite tree on the school grounds when my little demon, Kurosawa Ruby had spotted me. I bit my lip and started my routine to hopefully throw off an suspicion.

“Yohane! It’s Yohane! As my little demon you should know better than to call me by that name.”

“Aaah! Sorry, Yohane-chan!”

“No honorifics! Just Yohane!”

“Uwawaaa~” Ruby shook her head, “Yohane!”

“Yes, little demon?”

“The second years are finishing up P.E. now, so we’ll be going into practice right after.”

“Right, I’ll be there.”

“Okay, be careful not to fall!”

The redhead ran off towards the school building. I leaned back up against the branch behind me and went back into my own mind for a moment, hoping I could collect my thoughts. Just a month ago I had wished for mine and You’s relationship to be more than supportive and now it felt like I was trying to end it.

What do I tell her in that dream that makes her so upset? Do I tell her we should break up? Would she break down over that if we’re not actually in love? Nothing makes sense to me right now. Why would I dream about breaking up what have brought me happiness?

Before I could even consider the barrage of questions I heard a sound behind me. A familiar sound to someone as misfortunate as myself. The snapping sound of a tree branch breaking from someone putting too much weight on it.

I was falling, but I couldn’t see the ground. Everything happened to fast and I was falling backwards. There was no time to get my arms behind my head for protection, I was going to take impact any moment now. All I could do was close my eyes and bite down.

“Yohane!!”

I expected the pain to run through my neck. It wouldn’t have been the first time I had an injury like that. Instead, it hurt from lower on my body, from my tailbone. Had I miscalculated how I was about to land? No, it was something else…

“Are you alright?”

“…” I opened my eyes and she was right there, holding me. “You?”

“You’re lucky I was able to keep your head from taking the hit, does it hurt anywhere?”

“You caught me?”

She laughed, “Of course I did, I was coming back from P.E. and saw you deep in thought. I wasn’t going to disturb you, but then you fell.”

“Thank you.”

“How’s your spine? You still crashed rather badly.”

“It hurts.”

“Can you stand up.”

“Yeah.”

I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not I’d be able to, but I didn’t want to be a burden on You any more than I already was. Doing my best, I made my way to my feet despite the shooting pain from my tailbone.

“You’re grimacing.”

“I’m fine.”

“Walk one step.”

I wasn’t able to finish putting the foot down in front of me without losing my balance. She caught me again and put my arm around her shoulders.

“Listen here, fallen angel, you can rely on me a little, okay?”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, let’s get you to the nurse’s office.”

You led me into the school building and to a bed in the nurse’s office. We were alone when we arrived, as the nurse was out for whatever reason. I knew what was coming. Me and You hadn’t been alone together for a while now, she’d no doubt ask about my behaviour.

“Hey, Yohane?”

I nodded in silence.

“I don’t mean to pry, but is there something on your mind? You’ve been very distant lately.”

“I’m…” I decided it wasn’t worth lying, but I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I don’t know.”

“If there’s something you can’t tell me, that’s okay. But I want to help you when you’re worried, that’s what we agreed on, wasn’t it?”

“I know.”

She kissed me on the forehead and laid me down. She was so kind. Why can I only think of the idea of losing her?

“I need to get to practice, I’ll explain to the others why you’re not there. Get some rest, I’ll come by after practice and we can talk then if you feel like it, okay?”

“Okay.”

She left as I felt tears coming on. I clutched the blanket to my side and cursed myself as I cried myself to sleep.

I truly hate myself.

* * *

I’m running, because I’m late, I think.

I see a big cherry blossom tree on a hill, it’s where I’m heading.

By the tree is a girl who I recognize.

You, my lover.

“You’re late, Yohane.”

I play my part.

“Sorry, I got lost.”

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

She walks up to me and take my hands in hers.

She’s pretty, I lose myself in her eyes as I’m looking for the words I want to say.

Finally… The words come out.

“I have fallen in love with you.”

Her smile fades.

“What do you mean?”

I continue.

“I want us to be more than just each other’s comfort.”

“That’s not what we agreed to.”

“But…”

She lets go of my hands.

She’s crying.

“You know that’s not how I feel about you, Yoshiko.”

She leaves.

* * *

I wake up in the nurse’s office, my lower back still hurting like hell. The dream had changed again, now nothing was missing from it.

Last month I had told You that I wish I would fall in love with her, I didn’t make the connection until now but that’s around the time the dreams had started. The dream wasn’t about breaking up with her, it was about her not feeling the same way about me as I do about her.

I guess I really love her after all.

I shook my head. You is in love with Chika, I know that well enough. I’m just here to shield her from loneliness the same way she’s here for me. I should know full well that she’d never feel anything more than companionship with me. After all, who could possibly love someone like me?

I really truly hate myself.

The door slid open. Ruby, Zuramaru and You all came in to check up on me. The first two left after a short while as You said she’d make sure I’d get on the bus to Numazu safely. I decided this was it and that there was only one thing I could do.

“You-chan?”

“Yes?”

“We need to talk.”

“Alright.” She sat down next to me and took my right hand in her left, “Let’s talk.”

“There’s no easy way to say this.”

“Yohane, you can tell me anything.”

“I think we should break up.”

“…” She went silent.

“I know it’s sudden, but I think it’s for the best.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

I couldn’t find the words to continue and the silence between us both grew worse. I didn’t want to break up with her, but I couldn’t stay in a relationship like this when my feelings for her were this strong.

“Yohane, if you want to break up. We’ll break up.”

I couldn’t respond.

“But I want to know your reason, can you give me that? Please?”

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

I was back in tears, unable to say a thing. You embraced me and I felt her warmth. I would never feel this again if I told her how I feel or if I break up with her. No matter my options, I’m going to end up miserable.

“I could tell you have cried. Your eyes were red. I didn’t want to say anything in case you weren’t comfortable talking yet.” She lifted my chin up and wiped my cheeks with her finger.

“I don’t want to break up with you.”

“Then why did you say we should?”

“Because…”

“Yes?”

“I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Here it comes. The scene I’ve seen over and over again in my dreams, now brought to reality. I closed my eyes, scared of witnessing losing another love to my cursed life. I feel her letting go of my hand, just like in the dream.

And then I feel something warm.

I open my eyes to find You kissing me, soft but direct. Her sweet taste mixes with the salt of my tears as I respond to her in confusion. Taking in this moment for as long as I can.

“You fool.” She rests her head on my shoulder. “You should have said that from the start.”

“I thought you’d be upset with me.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not the relationship we agreed on.”

“So what?”

“And you don’t feel the same way about me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“You said so yourself.”

She look puzzled for a moment, as if she was trying to think about what I was referring to. After a while she nodded, having figured it out.

“You mean on the bus?”

“Yeah.”

“I said I wasn’t ready to answer your feelings should they be love.”

I nodded.

“You know what else I said then?”

I shook my head.

“That even if I couldn’t answer your feelings, I’d still welcome you with open arms.”

“But…”

“Besides, that was a month ago… I’ve grown even fonder of you since, Yohane.”

“Then, is it okay for us to be together?”

“It’s more than okay, it’s what we both wish for, right?”

I nuzzled myself into You’s bosom as I felt my anxiety and worries wither away. My insecurities and contempt for myself had kept me from even considering that You would like me back. I wanted to curse myself over and over for being so useless.

“Hey, Yohane, our bus is leaving soon.”

“Right.”

“Do you think you can walk?”

“If you help support me.”

“Then I’ll do you one better.”

“What?”

Before I knew it, You had slipped her arms behind my back and under my legs and she lifted me up from the bed. Carrying me in her arms like a bride. It was embarrassing …but in a nice way.

“Let’s go then.”

“You can’t carry me like this…”

“Sure I can, I’m strong.”

“I mean, what will others think?”

“Who cares what others think? Our fallen angel Yohane isn’t one to conform to norms, is she?”

My face grows red as You starts moving through the school corridors, girls from various clubs noticing us. Some confused, some jealous that the strong and sporty idol You wasn’t carrying them. In a way, it felt good being envied like this. Knowing that I’m the only one You would treat like this made me feel special in a way that didn’t hurt for once.

I really truly love You.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been 7 months since Unloved, part 1 of this fic and 6 months since part 2, Our Time Alone. I’m sorry this took so long to come out, it went through a lot of rewrites and drafts and then tonight it all just suddenly fell into place. Like part 1, this part is written from Yohane’s perspective.
> 
> This fic was originally posted on my writing tumblr (http://andrea-writes.tumblr.com/).


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